yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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