I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
