There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
