I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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