Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
