it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
