Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
