sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
