Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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