Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
