I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
