Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
