Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
