Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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