Can Purell be used as lube?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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