why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
