I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
