You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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