I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
