3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Did I show you my penis last night?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
