He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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