Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
