I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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