On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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