I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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