thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
