this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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