Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
