Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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