Porn is love you can see.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
