Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
