as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
