I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
