When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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