If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
