did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
