butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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