Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
