I think I am morally bankrupt
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
