He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
