Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
