Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
