I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
