feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
