my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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