Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
