Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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