the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
