the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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