I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
