I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
operation harelip BJ is a go
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
