Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
