Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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