Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
we should paint friendship bongs
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