I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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