giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
