Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
